Your love story - however and wherever you wish is to be told
Why choose a humanist ceremony?
From the flowers to the cake, every element of your wedding day is tailor-made to reflect your unique vision, so why should the ceremony be any different? Call me biased, but the ceremony IS the main event. Never mind the seating plans or table decorations, the ceremony is where the magic happens - it’s the climactic moment where your life changes forever; it’s the beating heart and emotional core of a wedding.
Humanist ceremonies are non-religious, so there’s no rules or restrictions. You can express yourself and tell your love story in whichever way that feels right - from the simple and understated to the wild and exuberant. Every word is hand-crafted and every action is intentionally choreographed with you and your relationship in mind.
Humanist weddings are steeped in meaning because they are imbedded in your values and beliefs - on love, marriage, family, friendship, philosophy, your passions, hobbies/interests and beyond! Rather than a generic formality, they are enjoyable, memorable and life-affirming opportunities to capture and solidify what matters most, to reflect back on your relationship and set intentions for your future lives together.
The alternatives:
Registrar-led, civil ceremonies
Taking place at licensed venues, civil ceremonies last about fifteen minutes and consist of set legal wording. Couples don’t control who conducts the ceremony, and they can often feel perfunctory because little personal information is included. Of course, they are legally binding…but humanist ceremonies ARE gaining legal status in due course so watch this space!
Religious ceremonies
It goes without saying, for those with faith, religious ceremonies are deeply meaningful and embody long-standing cultural traditions. However, according to 2021 Census data, 37% of people in England and Wales (51% in Scotland) identify as non-religious. For those in this ever-growing group, a church service can feel inauthentic and emotionally detached.
That’s where humanist ceremonies come in…
The possibilities are endless…
When it comes to designing your dream wedding ceremony, the sky really is the limit. Whether it’s standing on a windswept clifftop in your walking boots, an intimate ceremony in a cosy pub hunkered around an open fire with a few family and friends, or a lavish affair in a fairytale castle - a humanist ceremony works for any style and size of wedding. That’s their USP - complete flexibility and a commitment to bringing your vision to life, however weird and whimsical! And yes, I am more than happy to dress up in any way you want me to - from jeans and a t-shirt to a medieval gown!
Every aspect is completely customisable. For most people, planning a ceremony - the tone, feel, content and symbolism - is a deeply rewarding and creatively fulfilling experience. But, if all the choice feels overwhelming, don’t worry! As your celebrant my job is to help spark ideas and present you with a plethora of options, and to make suggestions if this is something you want.
“Goodness is about what you do, not who you pray to.” ~ Terry Pratchett
Humanism: a non-religious philosophy, based on liberal human values.
Do you have to be a humanist to have a humanist wedding?
The short answer is no. Although my ceremonies are grounded in humanist principles (the profound importance of love and human connection in our lives, open-mindedness, care and compassion for all living things and a belief in equality and tolerance), they are suitable for anyone who doesn’t identify with any particular religion.
In case you’re interested, in its simplest definition, humanism is about finding purpose, meaning and joy in a world without an after life, and using scientific reason, rational thinking and humanitarian principles to guide progress. We believe that you don’t need religion to lead an enriching and moral existence. Just being alive, connecting with others and experiencing the beauty of the natural world is magical enough, and inherently worthwhile.
Accepting that there is no direction or purpose to the universe - no ‘why’ - is liberating as it’s up to us to carve out our own meaning. If you believe it’s this one life that truly matters, then the moments that we spend with the people we cherish the most are what it’s really about. And that’s why, as far back as 1896, Humanists UK have committed to training celebrants and providing opportunities for non-religious couples to acknowledge the culturally significant and special milestone of marriage in a way that feels meaningful and aligned to their beliefs and values.